I was apparantly born to a big irresponsible man & money loving hoe. Lol, could you imagine someone like that?! Ugh, makes me sick. Anyways, my biological brother and I were adopted into different families. I was blessed to grow up with a beautiful family and I love and adore my parents. My brother was not so fortunate. His foster mother never legally adopted him because she wanted to continue to collect welfare and all that jazz. Well, one year I went to see him for Christmas and he wasn't there. His foster mother had decided to move away and not tell anyone where they were going. I had to take the sweater that I bought him back home and put it under the tree. I kept it wrapped up for years. My biological grandmother, a beautiful BEAUTIFUL soul, always kept in contact with myself and my adoptive family. She and my cousin searched for years for my brother, and finally after close to eight years they found him. He was an adult by then and so many years had gone by...we had completely separate childhoods and experiences.
I've seen him once in the past 10 years, and that was five years ago at my cousins wedding. Since then, he and his wife have had two children and I haven't been able to meet them. I guess in part it is my own irresponsiblity, but mostly I will say it is due to the fact that we barely know eachother so it's not like it'd be the most comfortable thing for me to go stay with them for a weekend.
That is exactly what my dad is suggesting. He is going up north for something else and he wants to drop me off at my brothers on Friday and pick me up on Sunday. I mentioned it to my brother on the phone and he seemed thrown off and slightly unreceptive. I said "Well I was talking to my dad and we thought it'd be a good idea if I could visit you for the weekend while he's up that way" (or I said something to that effect) and his response was kinda of like " well, ummmm, yea, I should be here". I think a weekend would be to long with these total strangers.
We haven't had any real conversations. I mean, about what he remembers from living with our biological parents. That's one major issue. The other is that I haven't told him that I am gay. I don't know if he'd really care or if it would make a difference. The thing is I really don't know because he was raised in a completely different environment. My dad keeps pressuring me into going up there, and I feel like we need to talk about a lot before I do decide to visit, especially for a whole weekend.
I never had to come out to my parents. Parents always know, and my dad caught me making out with a guy when I was 16.
Yes yes, this is the guy that my father caught me making out with in his van. Out of all the days that my dad decided not to go to work, and to instead go for a healthy brisk walk in the morning...he happened upon me and my boyfriend. He graduated the year before me. I met him because he was my flute tudor. The REAL flute thank you. Not the skin flute. We were making out in his van parked just up the street from school and there was a knock on the drivers side window. It was my father. YIKE! He demanded that I get out of the vehicle, and my bf sped off. I walked behind the fence to go to school and of course my dad was following and yelling at me. I was crying and a mess, and along came my girlfriend-a close friend, and a girl that I had happened to come quite close having sex with. I was a big mess and she had to kind of duck between me and my father. Wild huh?
Anyways- back to the real subject here. I was thinking of coming out to my brother over email. It'd be better than giving him my myspace link and having him find out on his own. Perhaps he will be very accepting. When my other brothers and sisters found out, they each came up to me separately and told me that they loved and supported me and that would never change. Life could be worse. I would give away all of my shoes and walk the world barefoot if it meant that I could have friends and family half as becautiful and amazing as I do now. I am not sure what I have done to deserve the people in my life, but I am going to enjoy them for as long as I can.
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